'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Randomize
