Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
