its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
