Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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