K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
