Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
