is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
