it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
