maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize
