Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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