On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
