That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
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