You really coming over, don't trick.
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
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