"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
