Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
