I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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