Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
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