Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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