So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
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Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
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Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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