Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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