Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I lost the right to judge tonight
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
