This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
