my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
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