20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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