my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
