you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
25 People Reveal The Creepiest Kids They Went to School With
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
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In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.