I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy