I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
this beer tastes like vomit already
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
