I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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