alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
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