On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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