But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
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