when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
