ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Swine flu is the new snow day.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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