he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
i came on her dog
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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