i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I need water and some morals
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
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