shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Randomize