Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
ugly people sure do ruin things
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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