fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
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