Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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