One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
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You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
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My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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