he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
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