He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
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