I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
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Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
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About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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