A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
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