After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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