I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
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