Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
