is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
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