So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Randomize
