yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
