Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
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