I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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