i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
