She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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