I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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