someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
She announced her abortion via fbk
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize