I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
