Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
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