I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Randomize
