shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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